Feeling worthless....

[hlmauera]

What is life worth? Five days I go to work and come home. I make no difference at work in the long run. Someone else could do my job- maybe not as well, but they could do it. At home I accomplish nothing. My house gets dirty while I sit and watch tv or play on the computer- I haven't even accomplished anything in my knitting. Nothing I do will last beyond my life time and only my family will miss me when I'm gone and they'll likely be gone long before me. There will be no children to carry on my lineage or my interests.

So what makes life worth while? I am not terribly successful at living a "good" life. Nothing makes me happy, nothing is fulfilling. I have no fire and no drive. I find nothing inspiring that is within my means to achieve. So I guess I'm simply passing the time until it's over and doing the best I can. *sigh* I think they call this the "continuing" part of our journey.

Comments

[aesa.livejournal.com]

It's so easy to feel that way. :/ I wish I had it all figured out so I could tell you how not to, but I still feel that way a lot. Bleh.

The only thing I've made progress on is my perfectionism regarding my housekeeping. I have specific days where I will take care of it. Until then, it can sit. It's still not fun to have stuff pile up, but at least I'm not beating myself up because I don't feel like doing chores when I'm tired after work. It's okay to sit around after work and just do *nothing*. Really. :D

In regards to other things, *hug*. I think I'd feel that way, too.

[visceridwen.livejournal.com]

I love you dear! And I'm tired, so I probably shouldn't write this, but I'm going to anyway. Please take this with all the love an affection that it is coming from. I know we all feel like this occasionally.

"and only my family will miss me when I'm gone" EXCUSE ME!!! What am I chopped liver????? I know we don't spend the time together like we use to, in fact we have never really had the time we'd like to spend together.

You have friends who would miss you greatly. You have friends who would ask what ever power they ask these kinds of questions too why we no longer get to enjoy your company. I would greatly miss you if you were to suddenly not be there, or even not so suddenly.

You make a small difference in each and every persons life that you touch. Each student that you help continue or complete their education. Each teacher that you help getting the yearly (quarterly or what ever it is) schedules fixed and out. Each person you inetact with and each person you give what ever small piece of knowledge that you might be able to give them.

You have lots to give people, and you make a difference in this world. The differences in and of themselves may be small, but they accumulate to very large differences by the time your done.

I know I wouldn't be the person I am today with out our friendship.

I once again beg that you remember that I'm tired but I mean everything that I've said and that it all comes from the bottom of my heart.

[dragonflymn.livejournal.com]

Both your blood family and your chosen family would miss you very much I think, and really, what else is there?

Feeling worthless....

[loopyzany.livejournal.com]

I struggle with the same things, and the best I've come up with is this: whether or not yourexistance has a grand purpose, you're here. Live in the most loving way you know how, and figure that the little gestures will, on ocassion, probably unbeknownst to you, have an important affect on someone. Existance is self-justifying, and love (in the sense of agape) is the greatest virtue. Just do what you can.

Me too

[(Anonymous)]

So a lot of things come to mind here. For starters, I believe that being kind to others on a daily basis is a huge accomplishment, so don't minimize the importance of it. Second, I don't like anyone to say negative things about my friends, and that includes you saying things about yourself. I know it's a total psycobabble word, but positive self-talk is another big thing I am into these days. Sometimes, the only person available to give you a pep-talk is you, don't make negative comments about yourself to others, and try not to think them in your head. Just living a life that brings a little kindness into the lives of others is a very important legacy, and just having no children who are biologically yours doesn't mean you don't influence the next generation! There's a lot of auntie work to be done! Come knit with me sometime soon! BTW-you do have skills, knitting and sewing are the first two that come to mind.