Looking forward....
Apr. 7th, 2010 11:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hlmaueraI renewed my SCA membership for three years today. With non-membership surcharge going up, I figured it was more cost effective to renew than to pay the surcharge. I probably won't pay for itself, but I don't mind supporting the SCA. I may decide after a while that it's still not what makes me sing, but it's not that big of an investment to me at this time.
While I was doing that, I also printed out and mailed in the Egils pre-registration. I'm going to be Autocrat mommy for Ceridwen this year (taking care of the feeding and watering ;>D ), although I don't think I'll actually be doing a lot of cooking. We've still got to work all of that out. I figured it was time to go back to what first made me happy in the SCA and that was taking care of Ceridwen (and Durin sometimes) when they were sitting on the thrones. I had a purpose then and I felt needed and useful.
This is different than feeling "important". I don't need to be center stage or have a special hat (although sometimes that makes getting things done easier), but I do need to feel useful or at least wanted. I know that Ceridwen trusts me enough that, if she needs something other than food and water, she knows she can ask me and I will take care of it. That trust is precious to me. I don't think I've established that with anyone else other than here at work. There is also a difference between being useful and being taken advantage of. It's sometimes a really fine line and I still have to work on defining that for myself. However, I trust Ceridwen and Durin enough to know they won't take advantage of me even when asking for my help.
So, even though I got my feelings hurt about the tailor shop, I think I've turned it around to something that will be more beneficial for me and will likely make me happier in the long run. I'm looking forward to Egils and to more happy experiences in the SCA.
While I was doing that, I also printed out and mailed in the Egils pre-registration. I'm going to be Autocrat mommy for Ceridwen this year (taking care of the feeding and watering ;>D ), although I don't think I'll actually be doing a lot of cooking. We've still got to work all of that out. I figured it was time to go back to what first made me happy in the SCA and that was taking care of Ceridwen (and Durin sometimes) when they were sitting on the thrones. I had a purpose then and I felt needed and useful.
This is different than feeling "important". I don't need to be center stage or have a special hat (although sometimes that makes getting things done easier), but I do need to feel useful or at least wanted. I know that Ceridwen trusts me enough that, if she needs something other than food and water, she knows she can ask me and I will take care of it. That trust is precious to me. I don't think I've established that with anyone else other than here at work. There is also a difference between being useful and being taken advantage of. It's sometimes a really fine line and I still have to work on defining that for myself. However, I trust Ceridwen and Durin enough to know they won't take advantage of me even when asking for my help.
So, even though I got my feelings hurt about the tailor shop, I think I've turned it around to something that will be more beneficial for me and will likely make me happier in the long run. I'm looking forward to Egils and to more happy experiences in the SCA.
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Date: 2010-04-10 06:27 am (UTC)Yep, that pretty much sums it up. :)