I need to remember this in my dealings with others, not just children...

Clarity is everything. Stephanie Pearl McPhee is best known as a writer of knitting books, but she's really a very keen observer of human nature. She really captured the essence of communication in this post.

I know I'm guilty of expecting people to know what I want even if I haven't told them explicitly. Another point that causes contention is that I say something vague like "Clean the storage room" and what I mean is vacuum, put things away in their proper place, create organization in specific items, alphabetize files and documents when possible. But what the other person interprets is: vacuum and wipe down the counters. It always seems so demeaning to tell someone exactly what you want them to do, but it certainly makes sure that you have the same expectations for the end results.

What Stephanie doesn't say but her readers do is...this is applicable for S.O.'s too. Saying "The bathroom needs cleaned" is not "Will you please scrub the toilet, wipe off the counters and sink, vacuum the floor, and scrub out the tub?" (and often needed to be included in that is "Today" or "By 5:00 when company is coming.")

Clarity! I need to aim for greater clarity in my conversations.