Thoughts on family...

jupiterorbit wrote a very thoughtful entry about what family is and how we create and define our families. It made me think about my family and the struggle I'm currently having. I have a very large extended family which is probably closer than most. I am very close to my parents and spend time with them weekly. I choose to stay in the Eugene area because they are here and someday they will need my help (instead of the other way around). Together we also have a church family that is like living in a small community. Everyone knows everyone and everyone's business. It can be frustrating but I know that love motivates it and that makes it worthwhile to me.

However, I am also building my own family. The future I am seeing isn't in a traditional family. I see Robert, Carrie and I living together as a family; Maybe adopting children together - if we can all agree and it's a possibility. I think this is a wonderful thing and I'm hopeful that we can make it happen sooner rather than later. (Miss Impatience speaking!) I talk about these dreams with my biological family. It frustrates me that they can't have any enthusiasm for my dreams and my father can't even be bothered to remember Robert's name. I know they worry about who is doing what to whom but really it's no one's business. We are all comfortable in the situation we are in and I am comfortable that I am not violating any godly commandment in my actions. I find that my parent's reactions have distanced me a bit from them which I find distressing in some sense and yet normal in another way. After all, when you build your own family you must leave father and mother to create another, separate, family unit. I'm just sorry my parents can't see that it's okay.

Likewise, the SCA has provided me with friends that I can also call family. People with whom I am closer than I've ever been with my sister and brother. I have a Godson through this part of my family and there is no question that love builds the relationship between his parents and me.

Ultimately, love isn't bound by societal rules and family bonds. A heart loves where it chooses, sometimes where the head would not choose, and it matters not to whom that love is proffered only that love resides there between those people, in that time.