I'm going dark on FB for a while
Jul. 3rd, 2018 01:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hlmaueraFB has become source of angst for me. I find it very difficult to ask for help but this deck rebuild is taxing my abilities and so I asked for help. One person responded, who is perhaps not very capable of helping, but willing. None of my family, or close friends responded, even to tell me they were sorry they couldn't help. Such is the nature of FB. I don't know if the algorithms even allowed my post to be seen by my friends and family. I know it's bad timing for my SCA friends: Antir/West War and all, but a simple acknowledgement, sorry, I'll be at war, would be nice. Frankly, I don't honestly think anyone would volunteer even if they weren't at war but I don't have anyway of knowing.
This deck project has to be done. I have two uncles and two cousins who are in construction, as well as my brother. I have several other cousins who are able bodied and could help but there were no offers of help forthcoming. My brother was just confident that I could "figure it out," He's in CA, I don't expect him to come, really, but it would be nice if he could say something like- "I can't come now but I could maybe take a couple of days in..... and help you then." Nope, nothing. But I should take a couple of days off to come down and celebrate Lilly's birthday in August.
I'm so tired of putting myself out there and getting little to no return. I make and send birthday and anniversary cards to EVERY member of my family (85 cards a year), even some of my second cousins. I rarely even get a thank you and I have only one cousin who sends cards. I know people don't have time to make cards or sometimes even to know when birthdays are but a thank you would be nice. I don't make them for that reason but I'd hoped they would build a feeling of family between us.
I've always felt like the black sheep of the family. I don't know why I should be, but I am. Part of it is being an introvert in a very boisterous family. Part of it is having different political beliefs than 90% of my family. I love them all very much but sometimes I don't like them much. Honestly, If I could withdraw to myself and not interact with anyone right now, I would. I have no reserves and no energy. My hormones are running amok and I just want to crawl under the covers and stay there.
This deck project has to be done. I have two uncles and two cousins who are in construction, as well as my brother. I have several other cousins who are able bodied and could help but there were no offers of help forthcoming. My brother was just confident that I could "figure it out," He's in CA, I don't expect him to come, really, but it would be nice if he could say something like- "I can't come now but I could maybe take a couple of days in..... and help you then." Nope, nothing. But I should take a couple of days off to come down and celebrate Lilly's birthday in August.
I'm so tired of putting myself out there and getting little to no return. I make and send birthday and anniversary cards to EVERY member of my family (85 cards a year), even some of my second cousins. I rarely even get a thank you and I have only one cousin who sends cards. I know people don't have time to make cards or sometimes even to know when birthdays are but a thank you would be nice. I don't make them for that reason but I'd hoped they would build a feeling of family between us.
I've always felt like the black sheep of the family. I don't know why I should be, but I am. Part of it is being an introvert in a very boisterous family. Part of it is having different political beliefs than 90% of my family. I love them all very much but sometimes I don't like them much. Honestly, If I could withdraw to myself and not interact with anyone right now, I would. I have no reserves and no energy. My hormones are running amok and I just want to crawl under the covers and stay there.
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