Reflections in a new year...

I believe it is possible, and that it’s time, for me to take my life back!  I’ve been drifting, allowing circumstances and others to dictate my direction in life.  I’ve been dissatisfied and angry, depressed and mean.  I need to take control of my life and find the things that make it worth living. Life isn’t about my job and my worth isn’t defined by how others perceive me but rather life is about the things inside me: love, joy, growth, and many other wonderful things that can get lost in the everyday drudgery.

It’s a new year and the world starts to think about resolutions to make but we often simply let our resolutions slide into oblivion because we don’t know how to achieve them or are overwhelmed by them.  Recently Finna posted about how she makes resolutions with goals with specific tangible plans and schedules so that she can make herself accountable for her results.   I don’t remember the last time I consciously decided to set goals for myself.  Being a perfectionist, I’m always afraid of failure and recognize that I’d rather not attempt something than to fail.  But not trying is failing on an installment plan and it doesn’t make me any happier than facing failure head on.  I believe happiness has been missing in my life because I’m focusing on failures and shortcomings instead of challenging myself to grow and seeing the amazing things I am capable of.  It's time for me to choose each day where I'm going and how I'm going to get there.

So my resolution is to create a life that brings me joy.  This is somewhat intangible and multifaceted so I’ve broken it down into categories with smaller goals.

Mental health:

• Do something for myself every day!  It only needs to take 15 minutes but it should be something that is just for my enjoyment or enrichment.


• Make plans to do something fun like going to the zoo, aquarium, or museum, or going for a special visit (and follow through) at least once every 3 months.


• Connect with people- have lunch, talk on the phone, or get together with people at least once a week.


• Take a lunch break and leave my office every working day with minimal exceptions.


• When faced with challenges, ask myself “Where is the opportunity in this experience? How can I use this experience to further my growth as a person?”  Re-evaluate the challenges!  Are they really challenges or opportunities in disguise?  Yes, this situation might be annoying but how can I look at it in a way that would make it seem to be less so?


• Set sewing and knitting goals for the year- make them be a bit of a stretch but still possible.


• Learn at least 5 new skills, be deliberate in the choices not opportunistic
  
  
  • Electrical repairs
  
  
  • Tunisian Crochet
  
  
  • First Aid/First responder
  
  
  • Create authentic  15^th century Persian garb
  
  
  • TBD
  
  


• Read 100 books this year, make 25 of them non-fiction.


• Be prepared to move forward with new employment opportunities.  I won’t let complacency keep me in a place I don’t want to be.  I think I know what kind of opportunity I’d like to find but I will keep an open mind and open eyes.  This means looking at the employment opportunities on campus at least once a week and updating my resume for the kind of work I’m looking for, recognizing that I will need to tweak it for each opportunity.  Until such time as I find the right opportunity, I will look for personal growth possibilities where I currently am and make a dedicated effort to be the very best employee I can be for the job I am in now.


• Be aware of and redirect the tape in my head that tells me what a horrible person I am, how worthless, or unskilled… it may be a reflection from others, but it needs to be redirected.  When it starts to play, make a conscious decision to stop it and substitute a new tape with affirmations of self-worth.

Physical health:

This last year my family went to Yellowstone National Park. Because of my physical health, I wasn’t able to keep up with my other family members when we went hiking and someone had to slow down to stay with me or I had to stay in camp while they went.  This made me feel disappointed in myself and embarrassed.  I want to be physically fit enough to be able to keep up with my family on hike during our camping trip scheduled for 2015.   To that end I will:

• Exercise at least 3 days a week.


• Take a hike once a month.


• Consumer fewer refined carbs (sugar, refined grains) and increase my fruit and vegetable intake by at least one serving per day.


• Eat fewer meals out.  Limit to two per week with a goal of fewer.


• If it seems like I need help to reach this goal, I will seek it out in some form of a trainer or coach.

To keep myself accountable, I will find a way to track what I am doing each day.  I’m still looking for the right solution for this but I hope to have it done by the end of this week.

Today I choose!

This video is a good reminder about the choices we have to make every day and multiple times a day.