Once again I got the Christmas bah-humbug spirit on Christmas Eve and it continues today. In part I think because I felt the gifts I gave were lame- no chance to make anything this year with the move. Partly, because I feel like I don't matter. I feel like the red-headed stepchild when I'm with my brother. He's done everything right. He's married, has a beautiful and large house, is outgoing and personable. I'm currently hiding in my bedroom, and have been for about an hour and no one has even noticed that I'm gone. When my brother is around, I feel like I have nothing to offer and no usefulness. Besides, we have a group of people here who I don't know well and who are loud and a bit obnoxious. Someone asked me about my house and Dad let me say one sentence and then he took over with a detailed list of complaints about all the work that he had to do. I gave up and went to my room.
Last night my brother came home with a bag from Teavana and asked me and my Mom to wrap some gifts for him. I agreed and wrapped up boxes of tea for my Mom and SIL and a lovely tea set for my SIL. All the while I'm hoping for a box of tea for myself. Unfortunately, it didn't happen. I got fishing tackle which, while appropriate, appreciated, and useful, was not Teavana. I guess the discontinued teas for this year are 50% off starting tomorrow but I don't have the money to buy them and no way to brew them anyway.
My SIL, trying to get me a pretty smelly gift bought me a box of incense which, because of my asthma I cannot use. If any one is interested, it needs a good home with someone who will love it. I'm not going to say anything to my SIL. She was trying.
I got lots of other gifts- useful and necessary gifts- but nothing frivolous. I'm grateful for the great generosity of my family but sometimes I wish for something not quite so practical.
Oh well, it is what it is. Mom just came in and scolded me for being antisocial but I'm ignoring her. Maybe I'll try to take a nap.
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