Random thoughts on a Monday

I'm on my own this week. I've been eating dinner with Robert and Carrie Friday-Monday but this week doesn't fit the pattern. I won't see Robert until Saturday and probably won't see Carrie until Sunday since we have a game on Saturday night and Carrie is usually in bed before we get back. We might try to wait until she gets home to eat dinner though. I like my people and miss them when I can't see them. I find this very frustrating. I feel very lonely. I'm like a kitty wandering around an empty house meoweling--looking for her family.

Part of the reason for the change in plans is that Robert is pretty sick. I think it's just the crud that's been going around but everything seems to hit him in the lungs--this is proving to be no exception. He is going to the doctor today- we don't want him getting pneumonia.

Holiday plans appear to have changed although I'm just now getting notice. My brother and SIL are coming up for Thanksgiving instead of Christmas. I've been planning to take the entire week off- I have to take my furlough days at some point. I was thinking Friday would be time with Carrie and Robert since we have to do separate holidays. But if T & T are here then I'll be expected to spend Friday and the entire weekend with the family. *sigh* I love my family but I want to spend time with Carrie and Robert too.

Then Mom announced that since T & T can't come up for Christmas we are going to California instead. Ummm...NO! Sorry family, I love you but I don't want to spend my entire holiday wandering around my brother's house with people I don't know other than T & T and our parents. Since I wasn't expecting this, I haven't asked for any time off and it's too late to do that now. Everyone else has already submitted their time-off requests and I know Sara is planning to be gone that entire week. I also got "summoned" to do a deposition during the week of Christmas. That has utterly upset any plans of having a happy holiday. (I can't say anything more about it other than GROWL!) Add to that the whole idea of spending both winter holidays totally separated from my other family and there is a resounding "HECK NO!" in my head. So now I have to figure out how to nicely explain to my family that I'm not going and it's okay for them to go without me. That could be very difficult. There is also a bit of whiny girl in my head saying "first they are gone every year for my birthday and now they are taking away Christmas too." But it's my choice and so I need to just put on the big girl panties and deal with it.

The greater family apparently has decided not to celebrate Christmas since Andrea's illness prevents her parents from hosting. I am disappointed and miss seeing my aunts, uncles and cousins.

All of this chaos is actually making me dread the holidays. Since I was a little girl, I've anticipated the holidays with such fervor that the actual events could never live up to my dreams. This hasn't gotten a lot better as I've gotten older. Even though I know I do it, I still can't help the hopeful anticipation. The last couple of years I've tried to stop anticipating the holidays at all, and in some cases even wished them gone. I dread the inevitable disappointment so I've tried to have no expectations at all, but that's kind of lowering too. I enjoy watching others open the gifts I've given them, but that isn't possible this year so where do I find enjoyment? Hmm. I wish it was January already.

What's a woman to do?

I am back to only wearing skirts outside of the house (usually pjs inside). But what's a professional woman to do to keep her legs and hinney warm during the cold winter months where the breezes blow under the skirt and make ice cubes of formally functional body parts? I say professional because I work in a very rigidly professional office (Think Perry Mason- that's my expected dress code). I've been wearing long socks and leggings but I don't think it looks very professional. I really hate tights with a passion (don't get me started on commercial sizing for hose, really, JUST DON'T). I can't wear heels any more so they already have to deal with my clunky but comfortable shoes. During the summer, I wear sandles and no hose but that's really not an option once it cools off. Anyone have any ideas?