I'm home

What a week/end. On Sunday we went to the equestrian practice and I got to ride for about 4 hours. It's been 10-13 years since I was on a horse and she (Serafina) had to test me every minute. I got to play a few games but Javelin was just out. She would just take off like a bat out of hell every time we tried to approach the target. First she wouldn't go through the wreaths so I put spurs on and then she wouldn't stop. I'm out of practice enough that unexpected "goes" could almost unseat me. She almost lost me twice- once when she decided to plant all 4 feet when we had been doing a fast trot and once when she took off on a javelin throw. *sigh* I'd get my seat back if I practiced more often but there aren't any opportunities here. It was $40 to rent the horse for the entire practice. I didn't expect practice to take all day. But C. called very upset at about 8:00 when she hadn't heard from or seen us. We had been planning to stop by the house on our way home from practice. Apparently there is a tradition of eating at the pub after practice and no one thought about that when we made arrangements with C. I understand why she was upset but I got irritated with her because she hung up on me and there wasn't anything I could have done to change the situation.

Monday I met C. at 7:00 to go to the base. CG and R. dropped me off since there isn't any parking at the apartment complex. It as beautiful and sunny and we wore our nice summer dresses- never thinking that the pier would be on the waterfront and cold and foggy. We froze waiting for the ship to come in. It arrived into port a few minutes after 10 but J. couldn't get off the ship right away. The sun eventually came out and I managed to get sunburned while we were waiting for the boys. (J's son was on the tiger cruise with him from San Diego) We all relaxed at their home and I opened my birthday presents. J and C went to pick up one of J's shipmates before we met CG and G, R and CT at Applebees and I listened to j. playing the flute. CG and I got angry with C for insisting that she wouldn't allow J to fight any more because he "gets too involved." He does have a commitment to us as our Don it's rather hard for him to fill that commitment if he doesn't fight. Yes, we're still upset. I'll wait and see what happens. I rode back to KH's place with CG and G after dinner.

Tuesday, Fourth of July- What to do, what to do. Everyone had disparate plans and I felt pulled in two different direction. I wanted to spend time with everybody but no one wanted to spend time together. I figured since I'd see CG at Coronation, I'd go hang out with J and C. We went to the outlet mall and the base NEX. (Shopping- something CG hates doing and I enjoy) We came back and watched Chronicles of Narnia. I was astounded to discover that the same game that CG, G and KH had been playing on the Xbox 360 was one that J was loading on his computer for j to play. What a coincidence! It looked interesting but I have no hand eye coordination and couldn't figure out how to fight on it. The game was Oblivion Elderquest IV. Maybe I'll figure it out on the pc version. After the movie, I said my goodbyes and headed to R and CT's house for the rest of the evening. It ended up being a lot of people doing stupid things and drinking too much. I watched the fireworks on TV and CG and G were ready to go before too long anyway. I just don't fit well in those situations. I get annoyed at the stupidity and overly loud and obnoxious people. I tried playing the game when everyone else went to bed and discovered I'm not any good at it.

Wednesday CG and I had breakfast together at 7. We talked about lots of things including her wedding which is now set for September 9th. She asked me to be one of her attendants. I agreed. It should be fun, I don't think she'll turn into a bridezilla. She needed to get to work by about 8 so we left at 10 till and I headed home. The trip was mostly uneventful except for the stupid woman talking on her cell phone who forgot to look before she tried changing lanes. I laid on my horn and she barely missed sideswiping me. Hang up and drive! I was home by 2:30 I think. Suddenly I felt lost. After all the people all weekend, I didn't know what to do with myself. I was lonely and depressed. I don't want to be angry at C but I don't want her kicking me out of J's life either. And it really feels like she keeps trying to do that. J called and I told him how I was feeling. He listened and tried to lighten my mood but I'm always afraid he'll get upset with me for being emotional. He said it was fine and I'll have to believe him but I had weird, disturbing dreams all night. (I was with a new group of friends and no one really wanted me around but they didn't tell me to leave. They all just looked disapproving and it left me upset and distressed this morning)

Today I went to work in the morning and had my dental appointment in the afternoon. I was very anxious (the lingering feelings from the dream didn't help). I haven't had to have any fillings or major work since I was about 11 or maybe even younger. It didn't turn out to be too bad although my mouth is very sore right now. I can finally lick my lips but my cheek feels like it's been used as a pin cushion. (It feels bruised and battered) The office was shorthanded so the doctor was also my hygienist. He said I didn't actually have a cavity yet but I had a deep grove that was getting soft and a little sensitive so he wanted to fill it before it became problematic. I'm ok with that. The filling is enamel colored so it doesn't show and doesn't create a battery in my mouth. Of course, now I have to figure out how to pay what the insurance won't. Afterwords I did a little shopping and came home. I just wish my mouth would stop hurting. Maybe I'll take some tylenol. I guess that's every thing that's remotely newsworthy for now.