Feb. 3rd, 2017

hlmauera: (Default)
My mom tries to gather the family together once every two years for some sort of trip.  Sometimes it's simply camping but other times it's some big trip.  This year she has it in her head that we should go to Hawaii.  The oldest granddaughter is graduating and we didn't celebrate her brother's graduation (because we couldn't get our collective act together) so now she thinks this is a grand way to celebrate both.  And my brother and sister agree, along with their families.  So the thought process has ended and actual planning has begun.  The dates are set June 27-July 6.  We have access to a friend's house on Oahu.  Mom has priced the costs of plane tickets (but everyone has to buy their own). It sounds like the trip of a lifetime, right?

But I have some problems.  I can't even prioritize them because they are all big.  So in the order they occur to me:
  1. When we get together as a family, I'm suddenly relegated to being monitored like a 16 year old girl.  I have to instantly obey my father, never argue with my siblings, and never leave the sight of the family without permission. I have little to no say in what happens and if I try to have a say I'm told I'm being bossy or ruining things.  It's really not much fun.
  2. The dates don't work very well for me.  It's right at the start of summer term when I have the highest volume of HR paperwork to process.  We also are supposed to be getting a new dean who would start on July 1st.  I have coworkers who could possibly try to sabotage my reputation with him/her in my absence if they thought it might benefit them.
  3. I don't have a lot of interest in Hawaii because it's really only ever been an abstract concept. I'm not one to spend a lot of time in the sun or playing in the sand. I don't do well with heat but I'm not sure what the temperature would be in July.  I don't have any idea, aside from the Pearl Harbor Memorial and the Polynesian cultural center what we could do.  It would be interesting to hike in the rain forest but I'm not sure what's available on Oahu.
  4. I have NO money for this.  I'd have to put it on my visa or rob the tax return, which was supposed to pay down the visa. Mom has indicated that she might be able to pay for my plane ticket but that hardly seems fair or right when she can't help anyone else.
  5. No one has asked for my input on this trip except my mom.  They planned the dates, and no one has even asked if I can go or want to go.  It worked for everyone else and therefore I should just go along or not...I'm not sure anyone other than mom cares if I go.  Mom is incredibly upset about the idea that I might not.
I don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face and not go because my family isn't very considerate of me.  And I don't see that I'll ever have another chance to go to Hawaii, especially with a ticket paid for me and no housing expenses. So...I really don't know what to do.

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